Fixate on clothing


The door was answered by a woman wearing a square-necked smock dress with a ruched hem. It was light brown with cream details and a subtle floral pattern; the stitching, although perhaps not as durable as it could be, was of a good standard and the general impression was of a high-quality garment, albeit one with a limited lifespan. Her shoes were blunt-toed black leather low-heel pumps, stylish yet comfortable and projecting an air of casual professionalism. Her cardigan was a loose-knit off-white woollen number, available from all good retailers.
‘Is this 57 The Birches?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she said. ‘That’s next door.’
‘Oh, sorry,’ I said. I walked up the drive and then down the garden path of the house next door. I rang the bell. After a few seconds, the door was answered by a man in an argyle sweater with grey and blue patterning, the collar of his shirt protruding from the neck...

18 comments:

  1. Have you been reading Look magazine? Argyle is so retro, floral pattern is so now and ruched hem is so yesterday.

    :-)

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  2. "Terrific stuff every time. Thanks," commented the man in the pink-and-white striped shirt with a grandad collar, distressed jeans and blahblahblah...

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  3. I'm totally thinking about fanfics (and My Immortal) now.

    D8

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  4. Oh God, that was one of the most annoying things in American Psycho - endless descriptions of everyone's clothing and accessories!
    I am delighted to discover I am not alone in my hatred of clothing-centred characterization.

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  5. Robert Jordan, I'm looking at you...

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  6. LOL! I think I've read some romance novels like that.

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  7. You ever read the Tale of Genji?

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  8. This is nearly as annoying as some of your previous endeavors.

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  9. I like descriptions of clothes. :(

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  10. I'm pretty sure you have access to my drafts folder :/

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  11. It's like you cut-and-pasted straight from a Wheel of Time novel... Fascinating... ^_^

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  12. Damnit! My previous comment was supposed to have read: This ISN'T as annoying as your recent posts i.e. this example is actually tolerable.

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  13. I've not cringed so happily in a long while...

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  14. Black shoes with a cream and brown dress?? Is she the killer?

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  15. @ Ceridwen:

    The way Bateman judges everyone he meets on their clothes is a key part of his character. I liked it.

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  16. Damn, I'm not the first one to make a Wheel of Time reference. Though dear lord, that dress description would be right at home there.

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  17. I think "The Dressmaker" by Rosalie Ham does that on occassion. Whoever had the bright idea to make Australian students read that must've been high, I swear.

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  18. I almost did something like this myself. I wrote an entire paragraph describing the dress my character was wearing. Then I realized exactly how boring it would be for someone to read it. I kept the description in my notes, but I removed the paragraph from the story. In the end, all that wound up being said about the dress was that it was green and silky.

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